Lemniscate
by CastleWriter16
Summary: A 30-day challenge. AU. 1000 word chapters based off of prompt words.
1. beginning

_beginning_

* * *

Kate shuffled into the kitchen and sluggishly started the coffee, still half-asleep. Early morning sunlight flowed in through the bay window, painting the hardwood and trickling down the furniture. Monday morning had come too soon. They'd flown back from Europe on Saturday, finally stumbling into the loft around midnight and then falling into bed. Sunday was a blur of sleep and unpacking and laundry. Kate was still filled with honeymoon giddiness, not at all ready to face the real world again.

Gates had been generous with vacation time, giving her and Castle the entirety of two weeks to themselves, no strings attached. But the idea of working without him loomed over her like a dark cloud ready to burst at any moment. She'd been dreading it since the day they told Gates about their engagement. Castle had been allowed to stay in the precinct, but he wasn't permitted in the field; Kate snuck him into a couple of crime scenes anyway. But now -

now he couldn't be there at all.

"Mm, I can smell the coffee." Kate spun on her heel and smiled. Castle raked a hand through his sleep-mussed hair, yawning. "Kinda early, isn't it?" She shook her head.

"Almost six-thirty," she murmured, threading her arms around his neck when he was close enough. "Morning."

He pressed his lips to her temple in greeting, tugged her flush against him. "Morning." Kate buried her nose in Castle's cotton tee, breathing in soap and fabric softener and sleep. Work became less and less appealing with each passing second she spent letting Castle cuddle her.

"I should get a shower," she said finally, pulling back enough to look at him.

"You've got time." He slid his fingers under the hem of her camisole, teasing the skin at her hipbones. "Plenty of time," he muttered, slanting his lips across hers. The protest on the tip of her tongue melted into his mouth. "Come back to bed for a little bit." Castle's fingers trailed lower, toying with the rolled band of her shorts.

"Rick," she gasped, covering his hands with her own, rational thought flooding back into her brain. "I can't be late today-"

He spun them so she was backed up against the counter.

"We've got plenty of time. Let's go make a baby, Kate."

* * *

She didn't have time to put her coffee in a to-go mug before she left, so she had to make her own in the break room. It wasn't nearly as good as Castle's.

Kate was in such a rush that she had used his body wash by mistake; she could smell it now, a close match to the sea-filled air at the Hamptons. Oh, she would love to be curled up with him at the Hamptons right now, the breeze swirling in the curtains and through the master bedroom, his hands -

Esposito came bouncing through the door just then, a post-it dangling from his thumb, shattering her reverie. "Body drop in Central Park. You in?"

"Sure," she sighed, dumping her coffee down the drain. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Alexis dropped by unexpectedly around nine, cradling an overflowing grocery bag. "Thought you might want some company," she said easily, wrapping her free arm around his neck. "Heard Kate was going back today."

So thoughtful, his daughter. "Yeah. Good to see you, pumpkin. What's in the bag?"

"Few essentials - milk, bread, orange juice, some lunch meat. Stuff for breakfast. Did you eat yet?" He shook his head and took the bag from her so she could take off her jacket. She tossed it onto the back of the couch and then headed into the kitchen with him.

"How was your flight back?"

"Good. How's school goin'?" he asked, surveying the contents of the grocery bag: Eggs, bell peppers, mushrooms, sausage, chives, onions, cheddar cheese, butter, milk, bread, orange juice, chipped ham, bologna. He put the chipped ham and bologna in the deli drawer and left everything else out on the counter. Looked like Alexis wanted omelets.

"Okay. Nothing special. I'm really liking my psych class."

"Ah, the whys of the mind explained. I thought you might." Alexis smiled and pulled out a mixing bowl and a whisk, started cracking the eggs.

"There's this girl in my class - Anna - and her dad's a psychologist. She gets really into it. She's in my study group."

"That's nice. How many other people are in your group?" Castle slid on his goggles and began chopping up the onions and chives.

"Four. And Dad. Really?" she laughed, nodding at his goggles.

"Of course! It isn't manly to get teary-eyed in the kitchen; I have a reputation to uphold." He puffed out his chest and his daughter giggled, sounding too much like the little girl he missed so much.

Yeah, he really wouldn't mind doing this all over again with Kate, watching her make their baby giggle and smile and squeal. Not at all.

* * *

The loft smelled like homemade tomato sauce when she got home. A lot like her mom's, actually. Her mother hardly ever cooked; too many long days spent pouring over paperwork. But Kate had vivid memories of her mother making her pasta sauce.

A strange wave of nostalgia washed over her, made her want to have children of her own to make pasta sauce for, to bake cookies with at Christmas.

Jeez. Marriage had turned her into a sap, hadn't it?

"Hey, beautiful. How was work?" Castle laced his arms around her from behind; she turned in his embrace and rested her forehead against his shoulder, circled her arms around his neck.

"Mm. Fine. Missed you. Dinner smells amazing."

"Got the recipe from your dad," he said quietly, as if afraid of her reaction. Oh, Castle. Of course.

She pressed her smile into his neck, ignoring the stupid tears that built up in her eyes. "Thank you. I missed it." He held her tighter.

Yeah, she was ready to watch him be a father.


	2. accusation

_accusation_

* * *

Ryan shot up from his desk when Castle arrived, throwing a quick glance in the direction of Gates' office. "Hey. That was fast."

"It's Kate. Of course it was. How is she?" Ryan flushed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"She's almost done giving her statement."

He slung his jacket over the back of Kate's chair and started for the break room, passing a uniformed officer on his way in. Castle hovered in the doorway for a moment, watching Kate. She had her head in her hands, fingertips laced through her hair, knees pressing into her thighs in typical Beckett fashion. At first glance, she just looked tired. But after a few seconds, the tremor of her body registered.

Oh, Kate.

Esposito nodded at him and stood up, tucked his chair back under the table. Kate startled at the scrape of the chair legs, eyes widening when she finally spotted him.

"You called Castle?" she hissed, shooting up from her chair. She was putting on a good show, but he saw right through it. She was still shaking. "Your meeting-"

"Kate," he gentled, setting his hands at her shoulders, "my meeting can wait. What happened?" Her chest sank; her eyes slammed shut. Esposito slipped back into the bullpen, the door clicking closed behind him. "Kate."

She swayed towards his chest and he pulled her against him, steadying her. Kate wrapped her arms around his waist, buried her head against his neck. "I'm okay now. It was nothing."

"I wouldn't be here if it were nothing," he said softly, and Kate sighed. "Let's sit down." She let him guide her to the couch and collapsed into the leather, scraping her hands under her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, nothing to be sorry for, okay? Just talk to me." She turned to face him, her knees colliding with his. She flicked her eyes up to meet his for a brief second and then focused on some random point to his left.

"Jennings and I went to grab a suspect without the boys this morning." He should have known. Gates had assigned Jennings to work with Kate a week and a half after they'd returned from their honeymoon. He was inexperienced and green and the complete opposite of his wife. "He was clearing the 2nd floor while I was downstairs. Ground floor was clear, and he said that upstairs was too. He'd missed one of the closets, and our suspect got the drop on us."

"And?"

"And…he put a gun to my head. He made Jennings call Gates. They negotiated for a good forty minutes."

Castle laced their fingers together, let them rest on Kate's thigh. "And the gun..?"

"Still against my temple," she said quietly. Castle used his free hand to tilt her chin up to eye-level.

"Kate."

"I'm fine." Her voice cracked and she stopped herself, took a deep breath. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. What did Gates say? She's not going to keep him with you, is she? Because that would be-"

"It's not his fault. Could've happened to anyone, Castle." It sounded like she was trying to convince herself.

"Are you telling me you want to keep working with someone who didn't have your back? You had a gun to your head for forty minutes because he can't properly clear a floor!" Kate's eyes flashed with something like indignation.

"It's his second week, Castle. Cut him some slack."

"Kate, I need to know that whoever you're in the field with has your back. Jennings doesn't."

"I can take care of myself," she said defensively, pushing off the couch and untangling her hand from his. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the chair behind her. "I don't need a babysitter, Castle."

"I didn't say you needed a babysitter; I said you needed back-up. You just had a gun to your head this morning! If we're going to have a baby, you can't be traipsing all over New York without anyone to back you up."

"I would never do anything to jeopardize our child, Rick. Don't you trust me to make safe decisions? I know what I'm doing," she spat, crossing over to the coffee machine. She slammed her mug down on the counter and then began to make the noisiest cup of coffee ever.

Castle forced himself up from the couch, crowded Kate against the counter, cradling her biceps in his palms. He snaked his head around hers and pressed a kiss to the underside of her jaw. "Kate," he murmured, "that's not what I meant. I know you'd never put yourself or the baby in harm's way on purpose. I know that. But what if something like what happened today were to occur again? And all you had was Jennings? I'm not a cop, and even I know that's a bad set up." Kate spun in his embrace to look at him, bracing herself against the counter.

"Castle, he's really not that bad-"

"Yes. He is," he insisted, prying her fingers from around the countertop edge. But if he were really being honest with himself, he'd have to admit that what bothered him the most was that he couldn't be the one to protect her anymore. He had grown so used to being her partner, in every sense of the word, and now it felt like something was missing. It didn't help matters that he didn't trust her new partner, especially after today.

"No one will ever be you, Rick," she breathed, as if reading his mind. "But I can't turn my nose up at everyone that Gates gives me. If it really becomes a problem, I'll talk to her. And if I get pregnant, it won't matter after the first few months anyways; I'll be on desk duty." Kate draped her arms over Castle's shoulders, grinning; Castle's hands slid to her elbows, keeping her in place.

"Okay. Promise me that you'll take the boys with you next time though, yeah?" Kate nodded.

"You got it, Castle."


	3. restless

_restless_

* * *

He was itching to write. Really he was. But he was also too wired to sit down and finish anything. He had five word documents up, all of them half-finished dead-ends. Nothing sounded right; nothing seemed to flow, even though Kate came in this morning and read his first attempt, told him the way he had captured Nikki's insecurity was perfect. And maybe it was, but not today. Today everything was out of sync.

Kate brought him coffee after he'd been holed up in his office for three hours, stubbornly refusing to let Gina have the satisfaction of sending him another email in reminder of his impending deadline. He was too deep in writing-mode to really pay any attention, but she kissed him on the cheek, ran her hands along his shoulders, squeezing, and left.

The coffee helped for a while, the caffeine a nice jolt of awareness, but upon a reread of his chapter, he realized the last three pages contradicted his timeline from the previous two chapters. Back to square one.

He went back through the first two chapters, ready to engrain the timeline into his mind, but then decided that Nikki taking on five armed men in the dark was slightly unrealistic. He got rid of the scene - six pages of his chapter. Today just wasn't his day.

Okay. So. Rook. Rook could go with her and -

"Dad?" It took a moment for Alexis' voice to register, but he finally looked up, blinked. He kept forgetting that Alexis had finished her classes over a week ago.

"Hey, pumpkin. What's up?" He saved all five of his word documents and shut the lid of his laptop.

"Is Kate okay?"

Is Kate - "Why? Did she say something?"

Alexis shifted uncomfortably on her feet, tucking a fly-away behind her ear. "It's just. You've been in here all day…" No, he hadn't. It couldn't be that late. He glanced at the clock. Oh. Almost five thirty. Oops. "And, I don't know. She just seems worried. Or nervous or something."

"Nervous how?" Her brow furrowed and she finally looked up at him.

"She's fidgety, which is not at all like her. And she keeps checking her phone like she's expecting a call-"

Oh. _Idiot_. "We're both expecting a call. I totally forgot. Thank you. I'm glad you came to find me, sweetheart."

Alexis smiled. "Anytime, Dad."

Rick pushed out of his chair and wrapped his daughter in a bear hug, kissed the top of her head. "How 'bout the three of us make dinner in a bit? And then we can all watch a movie or something."

"Yeah. Sounds good."

"Excellent," he grinned, leading her into the living room by the hand. "Why don't you survey the contents of the refrigerator; we'll be right there." Alexis nodded and he turned his attention towards Kate, who was curled up on the end of the couch, phone resting on top of her knees.

He was such an idiot.

* * *

She startled at the sound of her name and before she could respond, his mouth was on hers, hot and desperate. His daughter was in the kitchen -

"Kate. Stop thinking." He entwined his fingers with hers and tugged her up, pressed another kiss to her temple. "Come with me."

Castle dragged her into the bedroom, eased the door shut behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his lap, cupped her jaw. "It's the test results, isn't it?" She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, closed her eyes, took a deep breath.

There were so many things that could go wrong, so many unanswered questions. And it had to be her fault, right? Castle had already had Alexis. She just wanted to_ know_. It'd been nearly a week and the labs were supposed to come in any time now.

"Kate, look at me." She reluctantly opened her eyes and Castle rewarded her with another kiss, soothing her bottom lip. "I know you hate when things are out of your control. But no matter what we find out, what Doctor Simmons says the problem is, nothing between us is going to change. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not letting you go anywhere either. We're in this together, for better or for worse."

"Til death do us part," she murmured, trailing her fingers across his cheekbone. "As long as we both shall live." She loved this man. Castle trapped her fingers against his skin.

"I get to kiss you now, right? You can't recite wedding vows to me and then-"

She swallowed the rest of his words, fiercely branding his mouth with her own. "You started it."

* * *

"You've got to be _kidding me_," Castle whined, flopping back dramatically on the couch. "_Valentine's Day_? I thought we went over this already, Beckett."

"Majority rules; two against one. Sorry."

"You don't sound sorry," he pouted, crossing his arms. But really, if it made his wife and daughter happy, he was game. And they all knew it.

"Aw, poor baby. Do I need to kiss it better?" Kate teased, setting a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

"Ooh. Yes, please." He puckered his lips and wriggled his eyebrows; Kate laughed.

"Um. Ew?" Alexis gingerly placed three cans of Pepsi next to the popcorn and wiped her hands on her yoga pants. "Standing right here, Dad."

"Fine, fine. Ruin our fun." Alexis rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn't hide her smile. Kate sat down next to him and pecked his cheek anyways, chaste but oh so cute. Alexis plopped down on the other side of Kate and stretched her legs out, let her head rest in Kate's lap.

"There will be plenty of time for that later," Kate whispered in his ear, her breath hot against his skin. She hooked a finger in the collar of his shirt. "And then I'll kiss whatever you want."

"You're going to pay for that, Beckett," he growled.

Longest movie ever.


	4. snowflake

_snowflake_

* * *

Kate came home to a lively loft on Tuesday night. "Kate, darling," Martha crooned, stirring something on the stove. She'd been fairly good about calling ahead so far, but Kate hadn't been expecting her, and she had plans for her evening. Oh, well. They could wait. Rick wasn't home yet anyway

"Hey. How was work?" Alexis asked, marking her page and laying her book on the counter.

"Good." Kate toed out of her shoes and shrugged off her blazer, laid it over the back of the couch, set her bag down by the door. "Finally caught a case today." She perched herself on the barstool next to Alexis, saw that she was re-reading one of Castle's books - the latest of the Nikki Heat novels.

Martha left her post in the kitchen and rounded the island, wrapped her arms around Kate's shoulders. "I hope you don't mind that I went ahead with dinner. I had a last minute cancellation and I hadn't seen you in a while, thought I'd drop by. Alexis said everyone would be here."

"Not at all," Kate said politely, putting on a smile. "Castle should be here soon. He had to stop at Rafael's to approve the cover art."

Martha nodded and went back to stirring sauce and sautéing onions and garlic. "This won't be ready for another twenty minutes anyway." Kate rolled her neck along her shoulders until it cracked.

"You think Lanie would let me do another internship with her this summer?" Alexis asked suddenly, turning so that her knees were perpendicular to Kate's. "Just, you know, for fun. If she doesn't have any other applicants. I really, really liked it. It was a lot of fun."

Kate propped herself up on her elbow and threaded her fingers through her hair. "I think she might; you'd have to ask. I know she enjoyed having you, said you were a fast learner." Maybe having Alexis around would fill some of the aching gap where Castle used to be. Ugh. Kate missed working with him. Jennings was hardly a decent replacement.

"You know Alexis, you could always intern at my acting school-"

Alexis ducked her head and ran her fingers along the spine of _Deadly Heat_. "I know."

Before Kate could say something to break up the awkward conversation, Castle swung the door open, loudly announcing his entrance. "Have no fear; I have returned!" He placed his bag next to Kate's and quickly crossed over to the kitchen. "Ah. Mother. Something wrong with your condo?" He kissed Martha's cheek and dragged his finger through the alfredo-looking sauce and sucked it off.

"Very funny, Richard, but we did agree that just because I moved out did not mean that I couldn't stop by for dinner here and there. How's it taste?"

"Surprisingly good." Martha playfully elbowed his arm and Castle stretched across the countertop to kiss Alexis's forehead. He rounded the island to circle his arms around Kate.

"And how are you today?" he murmured.

"Wonderful." Giddy butterflies fluttered in her stomach, made her beam ridiculously. One phone call during her lunch break and she was bursting with stupid, happy adrenaline. "I have something for you," she whispered. "After your mother leaves."

Castle ran his fingers down her spine, leaving goose bumps in his wake. "Like you did on Sunday?"

"Mm. No. Much better." She hoped so, anyway.

* * *

Her knee bounced all throughout dinner; Castle kept a hand on her thigh, smoothing his thumb over the peak of her kneecap. He wanted so badly to tease her under the table, but Kate seemed serious tonight, and he'd like to keep all of his body parts, thank you very much.

After dinner, Kate washed the dishes and Alexis dried. Castle was responsible for putting everything away. Martha watched all three of them work from a barstool, a glass of wine cradled between her fingers. "I cooked!" she reminded them, and no one argued.

The suspense was killing him. He caught Kate smiling to herself more than once, but other times he would find her worrying her bottom lip, fidgety and restless. His mother finally left around a quarter to eight, at which point Alexis excused herself upstairs, quickly throwing her arms around Kate's shoulders and then Castle's.

"Night!"

"Night, pumpkin." The moment she was out of earshot, Castle turned to Kate, curled his hands at her elbows. "_Please_ tell me I get my present now."

Kate nodded wordlessly, pulled away and slipped into the office, her hips swaying a little more than usual. He couldn't help but follow her, and when he poked his head around the doorframe, she was perched on the edge of his desk clutching a square package against her chest.

She held it out to him when he was close enough, the overhead light glinting off of the silver wrapping paper. It wasn't very heavy. "Open it," she said softly, hooking a finger in his belt loop. She tugged him closer, so that her knees were pressing into his thighs.

Castle slid his thumb under one of the folded-over corners and peeled down the front, ripping off the wrapping paper and balling it in his fist. _Bunny's First Snowflake_. He turned the board book over in his hands, running his fingers across the cardboard edges. This could only mean one thing, right?

"Doctor Simmons called me today."

"Kate. Are you..?" His pulse quickened.

"Come February we'll be bundling up another little Castle." She finally looked at up at him, peering shyly from behind those beautiful dark lashes. She was _beaming_. He couldn't remember the last time she'd looked so happy.

He gingerly set the book down on the desk and tossed the ball of wrapping paper in the waste basket, brought both hands up to cradle her jaw, smoothing his thumbs across her cheekbones. He leaned in and brushed his mouth over hers, barely there.

He didn't even know what to say.

Holy crap. Kate Beckett was going to make him a father again.


	5. haze

**A/N: Some personal issues came up during the last couple days; my sincerest apologies. **

* * *

_haze_

* * *

Kate had never been so grateful for air conditioning. She'd had to spend the entirety of her day canvassing Central Park with the boys and the heat was nearly intolerable. She might have been okay in shorts and a tank top, but maintaining professional attire in the too hot sun was a nightmare. She had to look disgusting by now; she certainly felt it.

"You look…hot."

"Thank goodness you put the air on." Castle slid Kate's bag off her shoulder, winced.

"That's a lot of paperwork," he mused, lowering the bag to the floor. Kate kicked off her heels and started popping buttons on her blouse.

"Serial killer," she breathed. "Ten bodies, five days." She shrugged out of her button-down and adjusted the top of her camisole, straightened her bra straps. "Feds are coming in tomorrow," Kate said, kneading the back of her neck. Ugh. She needed a shower.

"Do you know who the agents are yet?"

Kate shook her head. "Is Alexis home?"

"Nope. Just left for dinner with Lanie." Kate exhaled a sigh of relief and peeled off her dress pants.

"Good." She picked up her discarded clothing from the floor and Castle made an appreciative noise, reached out to run a finger along the lace at her hipbone. Kate smirked and headed towards the bedroom, made a show of pulling out her ponytail and shaking her hair loose, curls tumbling down her shoulders. She disappeared through the doorway, waited a moment, knew full well that he was still standing slack-jawed in the foyer.

Kate tossed her clothes into the hamper, swiped a hand across her forehead. Her skin was still sticky with the afternoon heat and the exhaustion of it had seeped into her bones. Mm. But the loft was empty. She poked her head around the doorframe and a smile flooded her face. "You comin', Castle?"

She didn't have to ask him twice.

* * *

They were still tangled in bed together when Kate's phone rang. "Let it go," Castle murmured, tripping his fingers along Kate's spine. She snatched it off her nightstand anyway, accepted the call before he saw the caller ID. She rolled back into him, propped herself up on her elbow, cradled the phone to her ear.

"Hey. Everything okay? I thought you were with Lanie." Castle brushed a water droplet from Kate's forehead with his thumb. "I'll be right there. Text me the address, yeah?" Oh, she'd said something about Lanie, hadn't she? Alexis. That meant Alexis. Impossible to keep up when his wife was lounging in the bed with him, glowing and pregnant.

They were going to have a baby.

He still wasn't over it, not entirely. The idea that he and Kate had created something so innocent and perfect together made him speechless all over again, his body humming with such happiness and excitement that he couldn't contain himself.

"_Castle_." Oops. He caught her eye and gave her an apologetic smile, realized she was sitting up and getting out of bed. Aw. "I have to go get Alexis," she said slowly, digging around in the dresser and pulling out a dark wash jean. She tossed them on the bed and then put on a bra and panties, slicked on deodorant.

It took his mind a minute to catch up. "Is she okay?" he asked finally, pushing up on his elbows.

"Lanie had to cancel last minute, so Alexis went out with a friend instead, thinks someone spiked her drink." Kate tugged her jeans up and then threw on a white tee shirt.

Oh. Oh, he should be getting up right now. Wow. He was out of it. Castle blinked, cleared the cobwebs lingering in his mind. "You're taking your gun, right? And me? One minute, let me just toss on-"

"Uh-uh." Kate went into the bathroom and started brushing out her hair. Castle put on boxers and his jeans from earlier, followed her. "Gun, yes. But I don't think she wants to make a scene, Castle."

"I would not make a scene!" he protested defensively, sliding his arms through a black tee. Kate tied off her French braid and cocked her head at him, eyebrows raised. Maybe she had a point. "Fine," Castle conceded, threading his arms around Kate's waist. "Be careful." He kissed the center of Kate's forehead, felt her smile blossom through her cheeks.

"Love you," Kate whispered. And then she was gone.

* * *

Kate found Alexis curled up in the stairwell, looking pale and disoriented. And when she got closer, Kate realized Alexis wasn't alone. There was a dark-haired boy sitting on the flight of stairs above Alexis wearing a wife-beater and ripped jeans, skater shoes. Kate wrapped her fingers around her gun, took a deep breath.

"Alexis?" She stirred and said something incoherent. Kate crouched down next to her and the boy on the stairs stood up. She carefully extracted her gun from the holster, left it hidden under her jacket.

"Just one too many drinks," he laughed, a dark glint to his eyes that made Kate uneasy. He ran a hand through his hair and stepped closer.

"I think I'll take her home with me. Kind of late anyway."

"Nah, she's good, babe. Just drunk. I got her." That was it. Kate stood up and blocked his pathway to Alexis, raised her gun.

"NYPD. Hands up."

"Ooh. I like my ladies in uniform."

"Put your hands up. Now."

"Yes, ma'am," he purred. She quickly cuffed him to the railing and pulled out her phone, tapped in Esposito's number.

Alexis groaned and caught Kate's fingertips, tugged her closer. "Thaaaanks, Kate," she slurred. Kate slid down the wall and sat next her, guided Alexis's head into her lap.

"Yeah. Hey. I need back-up. I texted you and Ryan the address. I have someone in custody."

"You're actually a cop?"

"What, you think I carry around an extra pair of handcuffs for fun?" she asked, fingertips over the mic of her phone.

It was going to be a long twenty minutes.


	6. flame

_flame_

* * *

Rain pounded relentlessly against the windows, streaks of lightning breaking up the shadows of the living room in spurts. Kate had only just slipped into the loft - 2am. Castle was going to kill her. She'd taken a cab out of exhaustion, and as a result, she was now soaking wet even though she'd only spent a grand total of fifteen seconds outside.

She let her bag drop to the floor and toed out of her shoes, flicked on a lamp. "Kate?" She startled, a hand to her chest, and carefully made her way to the office, eased the door open. "Hey." Castle tapped something on his keyboard and then closed the lid, pushed out of his chair. "It's late," he murmured, coming to cradle her by the door.

Thunder roared in the distance; Kate felt heat pool in her gut, spread through her limbs. It was so much like that night in May; memories of raw passion flitted across her mind; she brought her hands up to cradle Castle's face, leaned in to brush her mouth over his. "I'm sorry," she sighed, letting her forehead rest against his. "We were waiting on some labs."

Castle slowly unbuttoned Kate's blouse and shimmied it down her shoulders. The door slammed behind them and it was only then that she realized she was backed up against it. "Missed you," he said breathlessly. He slid his fingers under the hem of her camisole, rolled it off of her, a hand at her lower back to pull her forward. Lightning flickered across the planes of his face and she knew he felt it to, that callback to the night that had changed everything.

He had on a red tee, faded with wear, and she stripped him of it, ran her hands along his shoulders. Suddenly he was crowding her against the door again, lacing their fingers together, the backs of her hands pressed to the cool surface. He trailed kisses down her neck, sending sparks of fire pulsing through her veins. His tongue dipped into the hollow of her collarbone and her knees buckled. "Bed," she growled, and he didn't argue.

* * *

He startled awake in the middle of the night, heart thrumming against his ribs in a panicky rhythm. His dreams had been filled with recreations of the night Kate's apartment had exploded. God, that had to be what, four or five years ago? He felt phantom heat licking up his spine, his shoulders. Next to him, Kate was still asleep, blissfully dead to the world. She had to be exhausted.

She'd called him that morning, sounding more excited than she had all week. Shaw had been put on the case with them, much to everyone's delight. Ah. Shaw. Explosions. That made sense. He'd feel much better if he was working the case with them, knew she was safe. The long hours weren't helping him at all; she seldom remembered to check in with him when she was this wrapped up in a case.

Kate mumbled something incoherent and he brushed his fingers across her cheek, tucked a few damp strands of hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch and he smoothed his thumb at her jawline. "Mm. Castle," she slurred, barely audible. "You okay?" Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him.

Castle pressed his lips against her temple and then dropped back down to the mattress, propped himself up so he was facing her. "Now I am."

"Bad dream?" Nothing got past Kate.

He shook his head at her, didn't want to burden her with his insecurities. Not now. Not when she was trying to catch a serial killer that was popping bodies twice a day. "You should go back to sleep. Early start tomorrow, right?"

Kate nodded and reached out to push him back down into the bed. She rolled so her head was resting on his bicep, her hand curled over his heart. He wondered if she could feel the erratic rush of his pulse.

"I'm okay, Castle." He knew she was talking about more than tonight.

* * *

He couldn't shake the nightmare. He must've watched Kate's apartment explode a thousand times. He'd rush up and break down her door, and instead of finding her curled up in the bathtub, she was standing in her bedroom, a column of fire surrounding her. He'd try to save her and each time he attempted to move, he found that his feet were melded to the floor. They, too, had started to burn. The flames lapped at his ankles and then receded each time Kate called out his name. He'd reach out his hand to her and the flames around Kate would rise higher. He always woke up just before they consumed her.

He was starting to think that it was more than Shaw being back at the precinct, more than the memory of her burning apartment fresh in his mind.

He found himself worrying about her safety more often than he would have liked to admit. He knew the boys had her back, that they'd protect her no matter what, but he also knew that Jennings and Kate often paired up and went out on their own. It made him uneasy to think that she had an amateur for a partner. But then again, that's what he'd been, right? Still was, really. He didn't have a badge.

"Castle?" Kate circled her arms around his waist from behind and pressed her cheek between his shoulder blades. "You sure everything's okay?" He placed his hands over hers, hoped the internal sag of his body didn't show.

"Just make sure to check in with me today, okay? And call if you're coming back past six." She squeezed his waist; he felt her press a half kiss to his shoulder through his tee shirt.

"Sure." She reached out to snag her to-go cup from the counter, gathered a few stray pieces of paperwork from the coffee table, stuffed them in her bag. "Love you."


End file.
